it's an infinite roller coaster ride. forever seemingly going down. fast and before i can catch my breath, i'm down in the pits, lowest ever, rock bottom. why is this so? haha. different contributing factors.
friends. just when you think you have em' it's gone. facade. what a nice word that seems so appropriate now.
fake friends that say they undersatnd you. fake friends that act so nice before you. fake friends that tell you to calm down and not to worry cause you have a shoulder. it's all just with the motion. why say things that are not from the heart?
tho' it's only msn, i can feel that vibe coming from you. of all the people i expected, i thought you'd be happy for me. guess i wasnt wrong. i should have gone with my first impression feelin all this while. what's wrong? i'm living for myself. i need not see your face.
now i know how a particular friend feels. down and out. no on to talk to. no one you can really trust and rely on. maybe it's because we have the same personality and when you told me you were feelin' emo-ish, you passed it to me. don't worry i'm not blaming you.
when i was thinking of you before i slept last night, i wanted to tell you what my mum had once said to me. "as long as we(your parents) love you, and God loves you too, we don not need anything else in the world. all is secondary. with these few people loving you, you can call yourself being loved" i thought these were words of wisdom. especially when you're down. where are all of them when you need em. i feel really used. only coming to me when you're down. what am i your talk line? not that i mind but, cant you share happiness as well?
Will life be better later on in life? cause this is supposed to be like your best age, the best time in your life. But why are these happening? it's the ups and downs i know but still??? sigh i need to consider our friendship. cause i dont wanna act fake and all in front of you when i'm hating you to death in my heart. but you can be really nice at times. were you sad then when i talked to you that you reacted in that way? or was that your true colours...
should i approach you? cause i know if i do and the result is the opposite and i'm just thinking too much, being a very overly sensitive person, you'll look at me in a different light now cause i thought of you that way. what should i do.
hmm... 2 different pictures show different answers. i think it's the way i smile. but cool. i dont look like, i SMILE like Aya. actually it's true to a certain extent. i have that way of posing for pictures. thankfully there are no guys in this version.
The question is. DO I? What do u think. go ahead and try it too :)
